Stupid Mofo

At times, I really think that I'm a doofus from clutter land. Before mom left, she bought us a loaf of extra soft bread with sesame seeds sprinkled on top of it. It was really very delicate and very, very soft. It's usually something I wouldn't buy since I'm such a cheap arse. I'd just go for the cheapest loaf.

So as usual, I was toasting my bread halfway at our neighbouring company's kitchen when a sudden thought occurred to me. Hey! Maybe I should check to see if it was burnt because the bread is so soft and thin, it would get toasted even quicker right? Oh my god, am I like so smart or what? beams.

The toaster was placed high up on top of the microwave so I had to tilt it horizontally to be able to take a good look inside. To my horror, the two toasts popped right out of the toaster two seconds after I tilted it and shot right into my eyes!

Oh god, I didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. Why do things like these happen to me all the time! You can always, always count on me to walk into a wall, trip in front of a crowd, or buy an ice cream cone and have the ice cream fall right onto the ground. Funny thing was, I caught the two toasts before it could land on the floor, and I couldn't even remember trying to catch at all!

Please please, don't let there be a camera anywhere to witness my bimbotic incident! And if anyone should have caught me red handed, please pretend you didn't see anything and forget about everything!