Helpless

When you left to go on your journey to the other side of the world, your purpose was to find your happiness and to fulfill and satisfy that emptiness inside you. You wanted to improve the way you were, you wanted to become a better person. But really, I think otherwise now. You are so selfish that all you can think about is yourself. It doesn’t worry you that the people around you care for you and miss you.

When they talk to you, they want to find out how you’re doing and if you’re happy and living well. Whereas for you, you’re just happy to talk about yourself every single damn minute and not even have the decency to ask about them till the conversation ends. I find it hard to respect you when you can’t even respect them. Honestly, you don’t even give a damn. You’re insensitive to their feelings and you don’t even give a flying fuck whether they get hurt in the process. All you care about is attaining your happiness, period. You don’t honour them, and you disregard what I try to tell you. Instead, you shoot me straight in the head before you even fucking think of why I’d say such a thing to you. Do I even benefit from what I said to you in our conversation? Do I not get hurt talking to you that way? How can you assume that I’m merely angry just because things weren’t going my way, and if it was, then I’d be full of praise for you.

You know what? You’re not only selfish, but you’re extremely arrogant. You can preach all you want, you can do whatever shit you’re doing, but I’m telling you, you’re still that fucking same selfish and stubborn bastard. What do you mean when you said you offered to let them visit you and it’s their problem if they can’t get there? You act as if we should just bow down to you like you were one of the gods. Look just how pompous you are from the way you talk. You assume we’re trying to make it harder for you when you don’t even know how hard it is for us. We try to understand you, we give in to every changes and decisions you make, we explain when people misinterpret what you do, we answer to continuous questions, yet you’re still over there, still so full of yourself, and making stupid assumptions about us.

You can try to save the world, but you can’t even fucking help yourself. Life is all about multitasking. You try to earn a living to live, you try to achieve happiness to have fulfillment, you try to love and respect those that love you and brought you up, and you try to live life to the fullest so that you can turn back without any regrets. That’s life. For you, when you try to achieve happiness, you forget about the others just because it’s more conducive for you. I hope you wake up one day and find it in yourself to make it up to those that you owe it to. I know life isn’t about satisfying the needs of others, but they aren’t even asking much from you.

It is only natural that they look forward to seeing you with open arms. And what are you doing? You’re standing afar pointing fingers, breaking their hearts inadvertently as you walk away from them.